Talking about religion

I was recently in a very short facebook conversation with a Christian friend about whether the bible contains any scriptural backing for debating the existence of God. Even though I’m not a Christian, I still gave my reasons (and scripture) for why I think it is right for Christians to engage in debates and discussions. As anyone who has ever talked about God on facebook knows, it doesn’t take long for these conversations to blossom. Despite my genuine efforts to keep the conversation civil, respectful and open ended. I was still unable to escape being labelled the bad guy and was told “it was unnecessary to respond attacking our faith” and that it was a paradox to respectfully disagree because attacking someone’s belief is itself disrespectful. I was then asked to discontinue the conversation. This short exchange made me think:

Is it possible to have a different opinion than someone and still have a respectful and meaningful conversation?

Yes, I think it is. We do it all the time in our day to day lives. We joke and laugh with our poor unfortunate friends who happened to align themselves with very poor football teams. People can differ on subjects like music, art, movies, food and all sorts of social and political issues without offending each other. But as soon as the conversation turns to religion, suddenly we find ourselves with a set of totally different rules. Religion is the only area of discourse in our lives where it is considered taboo and disrespectful to challenge, or disagree out loud with our fellow human beings. My question is, why?

It’s very difficult to have a conversation about religion. People rap their religious beliefs in so much personal baggage that for me or anyone else to come and question even just the belief itself, is considered a personal attack on them. I find this sad, I don’t like to offend or hurt people, but talking about religion is so important. Religion permeates our lives, it is intertwined in everything we do and affects our lives in so many ways, whether you have a religion or not. As a seeker of truth, religious belief is one of the most important conversations I can have, yet I’m restricted by this social bubble that surrounds religion and I would like to take this time to talk about it, respectfully of course :)

Something I really don’t understand about religion, is within its circles, it’s virtuous to spread your beliefs to others. Evangelists are praised for their efforts of spreading the good news. Strategies and programs are invented to help believers become more confident and able in their ability to manoeuvre in conversation with people who don’t believe. Churches are constantly holding public events in the hope of having more people converted. We have people going around knocking on doors, people yelling in the streets and shopping centres. Entire television programs and radio stations are dedicated to nothing other than spreading religious beliefs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But as soon as a non believer speaks out in favour of atheism, agnosticism or scepticism, as soon as someone challenges someone’s personal religious beliefs, no matter how civil, no matter how kind and loving one approaches the conversation, many will see this person as being rude, disrespectful, close minded, arrogant and obnoxious. Am I the only one that thinks this is bullshit?

The reason I am critical of religion is not because I want to hurt people. I love people, I’m just genuinely concerned about the personal conviction religion seems to produce in people. I also genuinly dont believe truth can only be found through religion. I’m not convinced by the claims of religions, but do I care if other people are? No. Should I be offended if they are? No. I’m grateful to live in a free country where I can express this freedom and love that others can do the same. I love living in a world of diverse beliefs, cultures and religions. I find it far more interesting. I love having my beliefs challenged because it gives me a reason to pursue truth and keeps me on my toes. I look forward to being proven wrong because it means I’ve moved a little closer to truth. But as I continue to talk about religion, I’m soon finding myself alone in this thinking.

Is there a solution?

Of course, not everyone is so easily offended. In my own circle of close friends, many are Christian. We disagree on many big issues, but neither of us are offended that the other has a different perspective on some of life’s biggest, mysterious questions. The issue actually rarely arises; we just get on with being friends. Our friendship and love for each other overpower our religious differences, and I think if more people would realise this we might find ourselves in a very different world. There are 6 billion people in the world and the idea that everyone is going to converge on matters of religion and spiritual beliefs is almost unthinkable, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.

I don’t think the problem lies in personal diversity, but in personal certainty. If you’re certain of your personal beliefs then everyone else is automatically wrong. When talking about beliefs, we find it quite easy to dismiss other peoples beliefs as just ‘beliefs’ without taking a seconds notice to put our own beliefs in the exact same category. I would like to challenge people to begin to let go of certainty, to slowly allow other points of view to consume some of your time. Maybe just read one book that you would normally never pick up. Listen to one speaker who believes something different to you. If you really care about truth then challenge yourself. What have you got to lose? I think it’s time we began to approach the religion conversation with maturity and respect, without it getting in the way of our ability to see each other as human beings.

Love Jason